Welcome to Vietnam

It's been almost a week since I have written. The task of writing my last entry was a daunting one (read: incredibly annoying) and I think subconsciously forced me to stop. This is only slightly less annoying than catching up on a weeks worth of material and in the nature of Asia I will seek personal Zen by keeping it relatively short.

When I last wrote we had just arrived in Vang Vieng. A bizarre little town built solely for alcoholic backpackers. It reminded me of the scene in Pinocchio where he goes to the city of vices and somehow turns into a donkey (in retrospect Disney movies are a lot darker than I remember).It was surreal. We were situated in a hotel along the river. A beautiful thing to wake up to. I jokingly proposed to Jenny on the waterside restaurant as all the tables turned and watched - some screamed "say yes!". They were, of course, slightly perturbed when they discovered it was a joke.

We went tubing the next day along the river. This is what you do in Vang Vieng. This is the only thing to do in Vang Vieng. This is not the Laos I adore, but its an amazing amount of fun. There are about twenty bars along the river, with everything from beer to milkshakes with hallucinogenic mushrooms mixed in. City of vices. A winning combination of strong current, drugs, alcohol and stupid young kids makes for a fun day, unless you drown, than not so fun. No one in our group drowned so fun day.

After tubing we explored we walked around the city. The restaurants are insane, they are build solely for tourist with bed like tables, and "Friends" playing on all the TV screens. It is easy to spend three hours there watching one episode after the next. In all honesty, I had a very hard time with this. As much fun as I had, a part of me feels that this is everything that is wrong with backpacking, and tourism. We are destroying cultures under the misguided representation of "building economies". I fear what it will be like ten years from now. I fear that the drug problems will be worse, and the children will be just as educated as before.

Ritchie, Jenny and I awoke the next morning early to head to an organic restaurant famous for their mulberry shakes, and pancakes, made from mulberries grown 3 km outside of town. The fame is well deserved. Even a week later we still talk about them everyday. I suspect that eating mulberry pancakes is as close to enlightenment as I will get.

We boarded our bus for a four hour drive to Vientane, the capital of Laos. When we arrived Ritchie and I had to run to the Vietnam Embassy, he had forgotten to get a visa, and mine was for a day late. This was preceded by a comedy of errors and insanity that involved broken ATM machines, and a woman in a travel agency telling us the embassy was closed for the day. Once arriving, the actual process went smoothly.

Our evening began with a meal along the water. When I asked where the bathroom was she pointed below the dock and giggled. We made our way over to a bar called Wind West, with a wild west theme, This was consistent with the Laos mastery of english language (I saw a restaurant, on the following day, that had a sign that read "food with delicious smell and testes). It was a cool bar, with live music, we were the only tourists which made it especially nice. Saurabh and I went exploring to find more bars, and left the group for a few minutes. We came across one bar and he walked into look while I stayed out side. He ran out and insisted we go there. It was a Laos karaoke bar. I am a Soffer, we go where the karaoke is. We grabbed the group, four guys and Jenny and made our way over. As we walked in we were greeted with such love and warmth, that if I wasn't in Laos I would have been suspect. This would turn out to be a major mistake. Twenty minutes later Saurabh returned from the bathroom and informed us that he had been grabbed in a not so public area by a strange looking sixty year old woman. We were shocked and laughed our asses off. While I wanted to avoid the bathroom after this incident anyone that knows about the combination of my bladder and booze knows that this is an impossibility. As I went I kept a watchful eye. I heard the door open and before I knew it I had the same woman with her and on my shoulder. Unlike Saurabh I was able to deduce that while she wore a dress and a wig, this was no woman. I zipped my pants up before I could stop peeing and pushed her off before she could say "You like? Yes?" one more time. At least she didn't grab me in my special spot, but the pee spot on my leg wasn't flattering. When I returned I was told we would be singing karaoke next, the song was chosen by Saurabh, and it would be a suprise. As we got up on stage and began to sing the words of one of Lionel Ritchies hits I looked around and realized something peculiar. The only woman at the bar wasn't born that way, and all of the men seemed to be enjoying our rendition of the gayest song in the history of man. "Saurabh you took us to a fucking gay bar" we all said in unison as we made our way off of stage. Apparently, I was not the only one who noticed. This was of course followed up by the obligatory "not that there is anything wrong with that". We stayed another fifteen minutes to avoid feeling homophobic and made our way back to the hotel.

The next day me and Ritchie made up for the lost time spent at the Vietnam Embassy and saw some temples and Laos national symbol the Golden Pagoda.

In the evening we took a flight to Hanoi, exiting Laos and entering Hanoi.

Hanoi is the antithesis to Laos and their similarities start and stop at their loyalties to communism.

In Laos they speak little of the government and consistently live humbly. In Hanoi they revere Ho Chi Minh but there is a very apparent class divide.

The city is fast moving and intense. Motorbikes clog the roads and the only way to cross the street is to close your eyes and hope for the best. I have found an incredible amount of peace in crossing the streets for whatever reason. The world just seems to go around you. Aside from the Temple of literature, this will be the only peace I find in Hanoi. The the Temple of Literature, a tribute built for Confucious, was an important sight for me as it holds education sacred and is home to an early medical school. Hundreds of steles in honor of the doctors who graduated there have been erected. Most people rub them for good health, I rubbed them for the next four years. A music show played in one of the courtyards and in that moment of music and medicine I felt at peace.

We went to the "Hanoi Hilton", the jail where John McCain and several other troops were held during the Vietnam War (or American War as they call it here). It was where the French once tortured the Vietnamese, and where the Vietnamese tortured us. The level of propaganda was astounding, showing pictures of American soldiers enjoying themselves, and even citing the "Hanoi Hilton" as proof, ignoring the irony in which it stemmed from. We also visited Ho Chi Minhs mausoleum where is bodied is embalmed and put on display. All I could think of is my cadaver next year.

This was the last night for two group members that I had grown quite fond of, Saurabh and Kason. We at one of Hanoi's finest restaurants and went out dancing and drinking to enjoy our last night together.

In the morning we took our bus to a boat that would take us along Halong Bay. There is not much to say about this part of the journey except Halong Bay is easily one of the most incredible sights I have ever seen. Google it, look at pictures, but it doesn't even capture how beautiful it really is.

We returned to Hanoi for the afternoon and then made our way to Hue. I was grateful to be leaving Hanoi.

Our overnight train was the most basic of conditions I had seen since sleeping in the villages. It made the Chaing Mai night train look like the plaza.

After arriving in Hue we went across the street to have some breakfast where I got to hold the one month old grand-daughter of the shop keeper. I got her to stop crying, she loved me. She was so beautiful! I hummed the lullaby my mom sang to me as a child and she slept peacefully in my arms. The rest of our day was spent on a motorbike tour through the city of Hue. I rode on the back of a motorbike, and while it took some getting used to (ie not shitting myself), it one of the best days yet. We had an incredible vegetarian lunch at a buddhist nunnery and saw several sights including a small coliseum where tigers and elephants fought to the death.

The next morning we saw the Citadel where the Tet offensive took place. and then Imperial City. We took our bus to Hoi An. Hoi An is an incredible town. I was fitted for a custom linen suit (think Jay-Z....pimp). Yesterday we went snorkeling and hung out on the beach. We are leaving for a few minutes to have the final tailoring done on our clothing, and then we will go to sleep early to see sunrise at My Son. Its a rough life I have.